Yet another Ryslig AU
Dec. 7th, 2015 08:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aphasiacartist posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
unfortunatecouplingsWho: Rin and Lust
What: Rin gets a monster change from Tikbalang. It turns out to be exactly the monster she didn't want it to be.
When: Sometime mid-December.
Where: Rin's apartment.
Warnings: Monsters, a bit a little bit of body horror.
[Rin has made a mistake.
Granted, it's not the first time she's made a mistake. It's not even the first time she's made this mistake, specifically. But this time it's worse - she's done something she can't the back.
Tikbalang - the equine god of the woods - had told her that he could give her the form she desired, and that she only needed to follow his instructions in order implement the changes. Rin was so desperate to become a goblin again - to return to the form her beloved Mountain God had given her - that she had agreed to his terms and paid him his coins with out hesitation.
Therein lied the problem, though. In her eagerness and haste, there had been missteps on her part. One of the roots she had been told to collect had been a little smaller than the horse had specified, and a word or two of the ritual spell had been stumbled over and mispronounced.
A wiser person would have been more careful, but Rin had been so excited to be rid of her shade form and to embrace a body that feels right, that such for sight was a little beyond her. Nobody ever said she was the sharpest crayon in the box, after all.
When the transformation hit, Rin had been thrilled, at first, to feel her body becoming solid. She took it as a sign that the ritual had worked how she had hoped.
And then the other changes came. Rather than shrinking back to the stature of a goblin, she had felt her body lengthen. Her torso stretched upward and scales grew in over and below where her belly button had been. Meanwhile her legs grew weaker and weaker, eventually crumple underneath the weight; the once-articulate set of legs, made of bone and muscle just a few dozen minutes ago, became nothing but a flattened husk of dried skin, as Rin's body began to itch uncontrollably, forcing her new snake-like til to slither out of the shedding. Rin looks downward, horrified at her tail - the green scales glossy and new. It takes her a moment to realize exactly what exactly just happened.
She's a naga now, not a goblin as she had hoped.
The next couple days are... rough, to say the least. Losing one's legs is rough for anyone, but when you already lacked arms it's an absolute nightmare.
There was a lot of crying, hyperventilating and the like after that, and after that... she pretty much just shut the hell down. She's been like that for days - Emi hasn't been able to get her to come out of the apartment, or even to climb out of bed and try moving around. Eventually, her best friend and roommate put up a network post asking for some help with Rin's new naga form - which is how Lust found herself in this unfortunate situation. ]
It's not locked.
[Rin says, when she hears Lust knocking at the door. Honestly, at this point Rin can't even be bothered to care who it is.]
There's nothing in here worth stealing, so don't bother.
What: Rin gets a monster change from Tikbalang. It turns out to be exactly the monster she didn't want it to be.
When: Sometime mid-December.
Where: Rin's apartment.
Warnings: Monsters, a bit a little bit of body horror.
[Rin has made a mistake.
Granted, it's not the first time she's made a mistake. It's not even the first time she's made this mistake, specifically. But this time it's worse - she's done something she can't the back.
Tikbalang - the equine god of the woods - had told her that he could give her the form she desired, and that she only needed to follow his instructions in order implement the changes. Rin was so desperate to become a goblin again - to return to the form her beloved Mountain God had given her - that she had agreed to his terms and paid him his coins with out hesitation.
Therein lied the problem, though. In her eagerness and haste, there had been missteps on her part. One of the roots she had been told to collect had been a little smaller than the horse had specified, and a word or two of the ritual spell had been stumbled over and mispronounced.
A wiser person would have been more careful, but Rin had been so excited to be rid of her shade form and to embrace a body that feels right, that such for sight was a little beyond her. Nobody ever said she was the sharpest crayon in the box, after all.
When the transformation hit, Rin had been thrilled, at first, to feel her body becoming solid. She took it as a sign that the ritual had worked how she had hoped.
And then the other changes came. Rather than shrinking back to the stature of a goblin, she had felt her body lengthen. Her torso stretched upward and scales grew in over and below where her belly button had been. Meanwhile her legs grew weaker and weaker, eventually crumple underneath the weight; the once-articulate set of legs, made of bone and muscle just a few dozen minutes ago, became nothing but a flattened husk of dried skin, as Rin's body began to itch uncontrollably, forcing her new snake-like til to slither out of the shedding. Rin looks downward, horrified at her tail - the green scales glossy and new. It takes her a moment to realize exactly what exactly just happened.
She's a naga now, not a goblin as she had hoped.
The next couple days are... rough, to say the least. Losing one's legs is rough for anyone, but when you already lacked arms it's an absolute nightmare.
There was a lot of crying, hyperventilating and the like after that, and after that... she pretty much just shut the hell down. She's been like that for days - Emi hasn't been able to get her to come out of the apartment, or even to climb out of bed and try moving around. Eventually, her best friend and roommate put up a network post asking for some help with Rin's new naga form - which is how Lust found herself in this unfortunate situation. ]
It's not locked.
[Rin says, when she hears Lust knocking at the door. Honestly, at this point Rin can't even be bothered to care who it is.]
There's nothing in here worth stealing, so don't bother.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-17 10:21 pm (UTC)[Lust announces herself thusly as she slips into the small apartment, flicking the door closed with her tail. This is a place she's well familiar with. She didn't leave her own room for days after her final change, ashamed and confused and horrified by her own body. She's grown into it, now, her tail feeling as natural as legs ever had. And it's far more useful. Not to mention cleaner.]
[But it's hardly an easy acceptance, even under the best of circumstances, and that's why she's here. She cares about Rin. The younger woman is one of the first people in this place she ever did grow to care about. She'd been kind and genuinely friendly and supportive, from the start. That had left a deep impression on Lust.]
[If there's anything she can do, now....]
Hello, Rin.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-17 10:53 pm (UTC)Hi Lust.
[ She says, still not lifting her head to look at the woman. She didn't really expect this intrusion - although it makes sense that Emi would send in a fellow Naga.
Not that Lust can relate, of course. Her situation is... fairly unique, after all. Lust may have been fond of her legs, but to Rin they were the only thing she had in this world that let her have even a little independence. Losing them was a much bigger deal for her. ]
I guess Emi sent you. [ She doesn't really wait for a reply, as she already knows the answer to that non-question. She still doesn't move her head, resting it on her tail as she lays their coiled on the bed. ]
It's foggy outside, isn't it?
[ Another question she already knows the answer to. It's part of why she's been refusing to move her head, after all.]
no subject
Date: 2015-12-17 11:46 pm (UTC)[While Rin's companion had certainly reached out, Lust hardly considers herself sent. She's here because Rin is her friend and she feels for her. She has that capacity. She has empathy, compassion, all of those things her master said so many times they didn't have. And she will exercise it.]
[Having no real need of furniture, Lust simply coils her tail beneath her and rests comfortably on it. She's able to loop and drape it to make a very agreeable and supportive seat for herself. She keeps her gaze on Rin, but makes no move to get any closer to her.]
Right now, I want to be with you. I may not be the most skilled at comfort or guidance, but I consider you among my important people. And yes, it is.
[Though she's certain Rin knows that, which is why she only answered as an afterthought to the rest of what she wanted to say.]
no subject
Date: 2015-12-18 04:57 am (UTC)[Rin isn't sure at all why that's an important point for Lust, but clearly she's said something wrong. And even though she might not seem like she's paying that much attention to Lust, she still doesn't want the woman to leave.]
And... thanks.
[She pauses.]
Yeah, I figured it was foggy, though. Emi went full bear earlier, and she only does that when the fog makes her.
[Another pause. And then she lifts up her head and turns toward the other Naga, revealing the real reason she hadn't been moving her head:
Half of her hair (the half that had been resting between her head and her coiled tail) has fallen out, leaving a smooth scalp in its wake. And the sudden, albeit somewhat slow, change in position shakes loose more than a few hairs on the other side of her head. She looks up at Lust, her shed hair littering her white shirt. Her eyes - now with snake-like slit pupils - now blink back tears. Her voice wavers a little bit as she speaks.]
A-And then this started happening. I figured... It must be because of the fog, right?
[Rin doesn't even care that much about her hair, truth be told. Losing it was just one final, shitty thing on top of an already shitty day.]
no subject
Date: 2015-12-29 04:02 pm (UTC)[Lust simply nods, though the pang of sympathy that runs through her is fierce and hot. Her hair. For her, that would have been the unbearable. It's probably ridiculous, the vanity that is fostered in women over hair, the connotations of womanhood and femininity. But it doesn't matter if it's ridiculous. It's a truth.]
[And this change must be hard enough on Rin. Lust imagines she's already struggling with feelings of self image and attractiveness. Her goblin form had held meaning for her. There's little Lust can offer, but she wants to try. Rin is her friend, she's dear to her.]
If it doesn't grow back when the fog rolls out, we'll give you whatever hair you'd like.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-29 05:54 pm (UTC)U-Um, thanks, but... [ Her voice trembles slightly, still holding back the tears as best she can, before she pauses. It takes her a moment to think of how to express this next thought. Fake hair... She understands the appeal of it, of course, but it doesn't really feel like it's for her. Especially because wigs are something that requires occasional adjustment; something that might prove difficult when she has only a tail to work with. ]
...I just don't usually go for replacement parts.
[ She sniffles and takes another moment to decide if that was the right way to say what she wants to say. Deciding it worked well enough, she continued.]
I-I might change my mind, though. I-I
[ Because, true as her statement might have been, Lust is entirely correct about the younger woman's self-image. She feels so wrong like this. She feels ugly, of course, but her entire sense of identity has taken a pretty brutal beating from these changes.
This is one of the few times in Rin's life, she genuinely feels like a freak. Her appearance in relation to other people had never really mattered to Rin, but now she doesn't even look like herself. Her hair is gone, her eyes have changed, her nose is now flatter against her slightly scaly face. And then, of course, are her legs. The most important parts of her body is completely gone without a trace, as if they had never existed in the first place.
These changes are too much, too quickly. She doesn't feel like herself anymore - the girl who nearly spent as much time with a brush or a pencil in between her toes as she did without. And if she's not that girl, then who is she? Will she even still be able to paint with this new appendage? She dreads what the answer might be.
All these insecurities and fears come to a head right then and there. Rin forgets whatever she was going to say, as the levy finally breaks and tears flood out from her eyes.]
I... I don't know what I'm going to do. [She sobs hard and places her head into one of the large sections of her tail, still coiled around her. A few more hairs free themselves as she does so.
This next part is muffled by her scaly tail, but if Lust pays attention she can make it out:]
Everything's so different. I... I miss my legs.
no subject
Date: 2015-12-29 06:08 pm (UTC)[Even still, Lust is uncertain of emotional displays. Her own and others. She understands well the helpless, shameful feeling that comes from showing vulnerability and weakness in front of others. She understands also the desperate need for comfort and compassion in the midst of it all. Emotions are such unpredictable, conflicting, and overwhelming things.]
[She slips closer to the bed, the end of her tail moving to drape gently over Rin. The pain is so fresh, she doubts much she can say or do will change anything. But she does have faith that the younger woman will get through and be alright. Her legs are gone, and with them her feet, but tails are dexterous. And Rin is clever and determined.]
I wept for days on my floor, when I first lost mine. I drank heavily. I drove away people who only wanted to help me in my misery. Weep. Be angry. Feel cheated. Feel whatever it is that your heart wants to feel. It's yours, and it will pass.
You aren't alone.
[Sometimes, that small sentiment can mean something. She doesn't speak much of her own ordeal with losing her legs, glossing over it for her own sake. But she knows no other way to show compassion and empathy.]
no subject
Date: 2015-12-29 07:25 pm (UTC)She's still warm, for the record. Her first changes had been pretty severe, but Rin's core body temperature makes it clear that her changes aren't complete yet.]
I-I'm not that, though. Strong.
[This isn't the first time she's had to tell that to someone. Strength and perseverance are traits that people just apply to her for some reason.
The truth of the latter is that she really isn't strong. Not from her own perspective, at least. She doesn't confront things or excel under pressure; honestly, with the exception of her time as a goblin, she's just barely been scraping by in Ryslig. And not even very well, judging by the number of times she's died.
And while it's true that she's been cheated, Rin can't even bring herself to feel anger towards Tikbalang about it. Or, not much anger, at least. This hasn't been the first time that she's bought a transformation she's bought off of him that ended poorly, after all. It's really hard for her to blame anyone but herself for how terribly things have gone. ]
And it's not going to pass. I'm going to be stuck like this forever. [ She let's out another sob and leans closer to Lust. ] I never should have tried to change again. I should have figured that this'd happen. I'm so stupid.
[ Being a Shade had been so difficult, but at least she still felt like some semblance of herself in that form. On some level she had to have known that this was a possibility, of course, but she had been too enticed by the possibility of going back to her wonderful goblin body to take the risks into serious consideration.
She's a little angry at someone else as well, though she doesn't bother voicing this thought. The Fog God. For reacting so harshly to the Mountain's gift. For changing her back from a goblin into a shade - if it hadn't done that, she never would have made this stupid transaction to begin with.
When she opens her mouth to try to say as much, though, all that comes out is an angry, hurt sob as the tears stream down her face. Her breath is shaky as she places her face into the nearest part of Lust - her tail- and continues to cry.]